Prime numbers by occupation

Mathematician: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, and by induction, we
have that all the odd integers are prime.”

Statistician: 100% of the sample 5, 13, 37, 41 and 53 is prime, so all
odd numbers must be prime.

Physicist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is … uh, 9 is an
experimental error, 11 is prime, 13 is prime… Well, it seems
that you’re right.”
Wouldn’t a modern physicist employ something like renormalization?
3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is …
9/3 is prime
11 is prime, 13 is prime, 15 is …
15/3 is prime
17 is prime, 19 is prime, 21 is …
21/3 is prime

Quantum Physicist: All numbers are equally prime and non-prime until observed.

Chemist: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime.. that’s enough.”

Cosmologist: 3 is prime, yes it is true….

Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is …, 9 is
…, well if you approximate, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is
prime… Well, it does seem right.”

Engineer: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is not working, fetch
toolbox.

Computer scientist: I’ve just whipped up a program to REALLY go and
prove it…” He goes over to his terminal and runs his program.
Reading the output on the screen he says, “1 is prime, 1 is prime,
1 is prime, 1 is prime….”

Computer scientist using Unix: 3’s a prime, 5’s a prime, 7’s a prime,
segmentation fault. core dumped.

Computer Scientist: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime,
7 is prime, 7 is prime… Bus error. Core dumped.

The computer programmer method is:
“3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime, 9 is prime,
9 is …”
Oops, let’s try that again: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is … 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is … 3 is …”
Um, right. Okay, how about this: “3 is not prime, 5 is not prime, 7 is not prime, 9 is not prime…”
So much for the beta releases. Ship this: “3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is a feature, 11 is prime…” and put on the cover “More prime numbers than anyone else in the industry!”

Windows programmer: 1 is prime. Wait.

Apple programmer: Now why would anyone want to know about that? That’s not user friendly. You don’t worry about it, we’ll take care of it for you.

Bill Gates: 1. No one will ever need any more then 1.

TRS-80 Computer Programmer: One is prime, Two is prime, Three is prime, Out of Memory

Computer Scientist with a Pentium: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 6.9999978 is
prime…

Confused Undergraduate: Yes, it’s true. Proof: Let p be any prime
number larger than 2. Then p is not divisible by 2, so p is odd. QED

Philosopher: 3 is prime. Hum, that’s an interesting statement, I’ll get
one of my research students to look into that.

Theologian: No after all before God all numbers even, odd and prime are created equal.

The Psychiatrist: 1 is prime, 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime
but trying to supress it, 11 is prime……

Psychologists: Do _they_ want to be?

Sociologist: 3 is a number, 3 is prime, all numbers are prime.

Multiculturalist: Pfui! There you go, classifying numbers into categories.

Lawyer: 3 is prime, yet 5 could be anything, taking into account, but not limited to, the fact that 4 may or may not be prime, depending on the witnesses’ testimonies and the written evidence furnished.

Lawyer: According to Maths v Logic, 9 was judicially declared prime

Accountant: 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, deducting 10% tax and 5% other obligations.

Accountant: What would you like it to be?

Corrupt Politician: For a sufficent donation, 9 can be reclassified

Manager: 3 yes, 5 yes, 7 YES, 9 Now let’s take a positive attitude here

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